The Story Of The Moth

a moth,
not fit to be anywhere,
can't be understood,
won't be understood ,
because of all the friction,
between the thoughts,
couldn't fly higher,
couldn't spread its wings,
without hesitation,
"ugly wings"
they say ...
why?
it asked its maker...
he gave the little ugly moth a reply,
one word revolution,


"IGNORE"

he said ,
why bother responding?
all the world does,
humiliate you ..
insulting you ..
there are beauty within you,
you get it,
you understand...
its enough to get you through ..
all you have ,
2 weeks of life,
death will not disappoint you ,


the maker's words were such a serenade for the moth's ears ...
he knew someday he'll find peace...
so he spread his wings wings ,
proudly ...

and flew away ....

Mask of illusion

A mask you wear,
it hurts the most,
a mask full of unreality,
fake emotions everywhere,
"do you find it interesting?"
pulling me into your world,
and discarding me away,
its a routine,
i fool i am ,
failure who can't forget,
can't forgive the cracks in my own world ..
there used to be more to you,
all that's left is uncertainty..
do i get to blame?
or do i suffer ,
bury all deep withing my tattered heart..
that's all left in my soul,
emotions ...
there are solutions?
are there any reality?
is this me ?

RESOLUTION for PEACE

" tears rolls down like razor blade,
  no its not yours to blame,
  its me..
  or is it you ...? "

every second in my past,
every moments in my present,
every day in my future,
predictable?

"i'll breathe till my last moment"

 thats all i can say,
not predictable at all,
but tears never lie,
indications of sorrow,
predicts brighter future
or the merciless sorrow,
flowing your tired pale skin.
tired of living,
afraid of emotions ,
love is no longer a solution ...
it is the source of the torture
the only resolution

"BLEED"

for every memories ,
for every moments scarred me,
worth nothing but my blood,
warm stream,
red river,
bleed till my tears run out,
bleed till you feel lighter,
no remorse..
no love..
i'm just someone who deserves it,
just like someone,
death welcomes us to eternal peace ...

DISTRESS FEELING

this feeling ....

excruciating displeasure i feel ..

the torturing truth it brings,

feeding on my misery,

fueling on my darkness,

deceived by the fade,

the illusions ..

what everyone would kill to gain,

something I'd kill to loose,

why do you indicate ,

the dark fate stalking me,

let me live in denial ..

never show me ..

i want to feel emotions ,

i don't want to be emotionless,

till the day i die,

the best memories i had,

locked away,

the distress it gives ,

I just want to die,

to lie on the bed of eternal sleep,

I don't want to feel this anymore,

no more pain,

no more suffering,

no more hope,

no more love ,

no more ..

NO MORE ....

Ignored - emonation

Ignored

Bricks by bricks …

Building hope and trust ..

Within you …

Promises after promises ..

I made to build trust..

Broken down..

Ignored ..

By the one who gave me hope to change..

I deserve it ..

No one could read what runs on my mind

Then can interpret …

All they can do is interpret…

I want to change ..

For the better …

But its no longer about me is it …

rectitude is something no one would believe ..

I made it this way…

misstep .. simple misstep was all I needed …

no one understands ..

I can’t blame anyone for what I became ..

An emotionless traveler …

All I am is not worth anything ..

All I am is ..

IGNORED …

200 HITS !!

2OO FRIENDS !!! WHOOOO !!

EMOTIONLESS

all i ever do is a mistake to you ,
how can someone be this blur ,
not bothered ?
such a wonderful expression..
did i never ask you what you want?
did you ever opened up to me?
did you ever thought of your mistakes?
did you ever asked me what is bothering me ?
i know i did ...
did i ever told you what i dislike?
did i ever not try to make you happy?
did i ever told you i'm hurting because of you?
did you ever tried to think what is the source of the "mistakes" i make?
im the one to blame?
im the one to be ignored ?
once there were love and friendship between us,
friendship vanished long time ago,
love fading away day by day ...
you canstart a conversation with anyone,
but you can't talk with me ?
what am i? an emotionless container?
maybe i was , mabe i changed,
not for better ,
i see that now ...
emotionless creep is all i'll ever be..
i tolerated a lot of major issues..
you couldn't tolerate a small crack in the mirror?
i'm not comparing ...
i'm stating the fact ....
if this isn't clear ...
HAIZ ... that's all i can say ...
how you make me happy and frustrated at the same time...
EMOTIONLESS

Quotes of the week

Didn't Even Thought Of Exploring The World Behind My Wall ? ... Won't YOU Take A Look ...? Maybe YOU'LL Understand Someday ... I'll Take The Blame For Now ....

遗憾 ...沉默...黑暗...无情...这就是我...以为我能微笑 ...我想你已证明我错了... (... Silent ... Dark ... Emotionless ... This Is Who I Am ... Thought I Could Smile Without Regret ... I Guess I'm Proven Wrong ... )

 

 

humanoid = NOVIN ( human + paranoid )

 

THE INVISIBLE WALL

click on the picture for larger image

No human is the same as ME!: ONE tribe

No human is the same as ME!: ONE tribe


CHECH IT OUT .... Xbangga !!

TRIED

PHOTOS BY ME

Questions in my mind

Questions in my mind

A lot has happened … hasn’t it …?

It gave me a lot of time to think … I wanted to solve problems

But end up getting more questions …

why do we fall in love … 
what is love … 
what do an individual look for in a relationship …I know my answer for that last question … 
why do I look for comfort … 
y do I make decision rationally and not based on emotions … 
wouldn’t it be fun if I didn’t know what I’m going through … or might go through … 
why did I have to gain this much information and experience in a young age … I’m freakin 16 years old...
Why do a person make mistake … 
why look for temporary comfort … 
why fake an emotion … 
 why strike someone down with simple yet crucial words …
why do we tend to let our guard down … 
why can’t I be immune to sorrow … 
why can’t anyone be immune to sorrow … 
why won’t they listen …. 
When there is a simple way to deal with problems but they choose the hard way … 
why is reality cruel … 
why can’t reality have a good side …
is it because we only witness the bad part of reality and not the good part …? 
Why can’t karma leave us alone? You break other’s heart … you tend to get heart broken 10x the emotional break down you gave to the others … 
why get distracted when we get so far and so close … 
why is love or comfort so fragile ...
is love like snow, where someday it melts ...
why DO I EXIST ?

questions … wanted to solve problems …but end up asking questions …

ME

ME FROM THE PAST ... AND PRESENT ...

Different Pathes and Time's Boundaries

throughout the years ,

i missed many of the memories,

they are fading away,

i can feel it,

all i ever wanted to treasure,

time is cruel,

remembering is impossible ,

when there are boundaries,

two friend's paths collide,

but time wasn't a help,

for we separated as fast as we met,

the time traveler can't lie ,

the good moments,

won't stay in my memories forever,

for im not allowed to exist forever,
how will memories do?

good memories fades away faster then painful memories,

but we make new memories ,

we left many places ,

but we left part of us together with the places we left,

its just the beginning ,

cause i seen many ending ,

and the outcome of the endings,

the traveler's mind thinks wide,

he survives with hope,

for hope alone helps him to be who he is ,

his hope of being reunited with theses places ,

and there people he traveled with,

these people who stopped their travels,

he wishes to relive the moments,

he knows he might be forgotten by his fellow travelers ..

time ... cause of pain and pleasure ..

what does it cause you feel..

DISAPPOINMENT - Time Traveler

disappointment ..

i sense tension in the air

but left with no details

disappointment ..

lived with a lot of mistakes

disappointment ..

loving ... not loved

disappointment ..

life's Armageddon is near

would you be smiling when you know the end might be near if you make a single mistake

do you truly believe you'll be able to rise once again

life never been this critical before ..

i have to make a stance ..

with or without you..

with makes me feel more

it would hurt more without you ..

its your decision ..

who am i to make the decisions for you ?

this is part of the time traveler's life ...

THOUGHTS OF THE DAY

~The fear you ignore the most, Is the fear you will end up trapped in~ Logen Authur Beastly

~Overcoming the truth and moving on with your life needs a strong heart~ Logen Authur Beastly

~people say suicidal people are cowards, but only someone brave can face death and welcome it into life~ Logen Authur Beastly

~tomorrow never comes to you, you go towards your fated tomorrow~ Logen Authur Beastly

~there is no perfect pair, you just meet by coincidence~ Logen Authur Beastly

~when everything stacks up on you and you make mistakes, don’t regret it … just move on … cause the pain is less …~ Logen Authur Beastly

DOTA LAMENESS

EMO VS PEDO RAPER

The Lonely Time traveller

I looked at the sky,
The storm just ended.
Leaving destruction and misery along its path,
I hear cries and mourn of innocents,
While the cruel and evil enjoying their time.
The only comfort they have,
Are they being that’s right beside each other?
I walk through time,
Time after time,
I see the same mortals,
I hear the same human’s cries’
If time doesn’t change the fate,
Who else will?
I walk through time after time,
Winter to falls,
Winter to spring,
I fine no difference in their faces,
Things I witness,
And cruelty I felt,
That they got through together …
Are increasing throughout,
The time I walk through,
Alone without you …