What hurts the most

Did some decision unwillingly cause its better to have a broken heart than breaking someone's heart ...


" why do we cry and unwillingly say goodbye "

Guilt ...
The only conscious ...
Swelling within me ...
Nights after nights ...
Trials after trials .. 
Obstacles after obstacles ...
Where did we stand ?
I was to be blamed ,
Once again ..
Happiness I couldn't give ...
Love I couldn't share ...
Harsh ?
Objective of us was you ,
But blames were taken by me ...
Harsh ?
Words I shared ?
Hurting you never was my intention ,
Clarify was the purpose ...
Harsh ?
The reason was your actions ,
But blame was on me ?
Happiness ,
I couldn't made you feel ...
It was clarified ,
By You ...
For here i stood ...
Waiting for you ...
To notice my real existence ...
Not a mirror image ,
Of fake laughter ...
My true existence ...
Love me for who i truly am ...
Can't you see ?
The sole purpose ,
For you to open your eyes ..
Look through me ...
And love me !
Not the fake laughter ,
You fell in love with ...
What hurt the most ,
You truly believe the fake laughter ,
Is the real me ...
Whats left to do ... 
Is to hurt myself then hurt you ...

" why do you refuse to believe in me ? "

Conscious Guilt

The fear within me ,

Consumes my conscious ...

What could have been done ...

Which I failed to do so ,

Blamed by you ...

Fingers pointed at me ,

Without any realization ,

Without warning ,

Words shot upon me ...

Cold ,

Stone cold ...

As you spat your venomous words..

Still burns my conscious ..

Tears rolled down your cheeks ..

Rose and flushed ..

As you wept  ..

There I stood  ..

Unmoved by your effort ..

Sinful ,dark and cold eyes  ..

I must have had ..

Hearing your acidic verbal assaults ...

Wondering ..

If I was a low life ,

As what you told me  ,

What could I've done  ,

Why couldn't I move on ,

From those poisonous words ,

Truth to be told..

You did felt the pain..

I did became the cause..

Could I have changed it ?