What hurts the most

Did some decision unwillingly cause its better to have a broken heart than breaking someone's heart ...


" why do we cry and unwillingly say goodbye "

Guilt ...
The only conscious ...
Swelling within me ...
Nights after nights ...
Trials after trials .. 
Obstacles after obstacles ...
Where did we stand ?
I was to be blamed ,
Once again ..
Happiness I couldn't give ...
Love I couldn't share ...
Harsh ?
Objective of us was you ,
But blames were taken by me ...
Harsh ?
Words I shared ?
Hurting you never was my intention ,
Clarify was the purpose ...
Harsh ?
The reason was your actions ,
But blame was on me ?
Happiness ,
I couldn't made you feel ...
It was clarified ,
By You ...
For here i stood ...
Waiting for you ...
To notice my real existence ...
Not a mirror image ,
Of fake laughter ...
My true existence ...
Love me for who i truly am ...
Can't you see ?
The sole purpose ,
For you to open your eyes ..
Look through me ...
And love me !
Not the fake laughter ,
You fell in love with ...
What hurt the most ,
You truly believe the fake laughter ,
Is the real me ...
Whats left to do ... 
Is to hurt myself then hurt you ...

" why do you refuse to believe in me ? "

Suppress

Pretend ..

The hidden feelings,

You share for me,

The warmth of your presence,

Cruel girl...

You casted this curse ,

Upon me...

Mercilessly...

Cold-heart..

And left me to suffer..

The harder i try,

The more you deny...

I love you,

I said...

You hate me,

You reply ..

But still you share a warm and gently kiss,

Melting my soul..

Holding on to me..

And yet...

Denying your true feelings...

Do i deserve this torture ?

All that remains for me,

Are these feelings i suppressed ,

Feelings that are denied ...

Love