What hurts the most

Did some decision unwillingly cause its better to have a broken heart than breaking someone's heart ...


" why do we cry and unwillingly say goodbye "

Guilt ...
The only conscious ...
Swelling within me ...
Nights after nights ...
Trials after trials .. 
Obstacles after obstacles ...
Where did we stand ?
I was to be blamed ,
Once again ..
Happiness I couldn't give ...
Love I couldn't share ...
Harsh ?
Objective of us was you ,
But blames were taken by me ...
Harsh ?
Words I shared ?
Hurting you never was my intention ,
Clarify was the purpose ...
Harsh ?
The reason was your actions ,
But blame was on me ?
Happiness ,
I couldn't made you feel ...
It was clarified ,
By You ...
For here i stood ...
Waiting for you ...
To notice my real existence ...
Not a mirror image ,
Of fake laughter ...
My true existence ...
Love me for who i truly am ...
Can't you see ?
The sole purpose ,
For you to open your eyes ..
Look through me ...
And love me !
Not the fake laughter ,
You fell in love with ...
What hurt the most ,
You truly believe the fake laughter ,
Is the real me ...
Whats left to do ... 
Is to hurt myself then hurt you ...

" why do you refuse to believe in me ? "

EMO PICS ....

Iron Grip Of Past

DARREN : i tried to b happy with my life...believe me, i did, after goin thru so much sadness n sorrow...but i juz cant seem to, even if i ignore pp'l judgement and reflets of my past, i would eventually fall back into my haunting pasts, bcuz my life have been that way ...

happiness ...

a word of million desires...

an emotion ,

i could not achieve ,

efforts went to waste ...

spirited away ,

attached itself to the wind ...

the remaining pieces ,

of my hardened heart ,

sadness , sorrow , wasted desires ..

chained me ...

an iron grip of the past ...

judgement of the sinful eyes of the world ,

ignorance was wishful thinking ,

the death grip ,

denies my movement ,

couldn't move forward ...

trapped in my own past ...

trapped ..

The way of life ,

which i did not choose...

which was casted upon me ...

Conscious Guilt

The fear within me ,

Consumes my conscious ...

What could have been done ...

Which I failed to do so ,

Blamed by you ...

Fingers pointed at me ,

Without any realization ,

Without warning ,

Words shot upon me ...

Cold ,

Stone cold ...

As you spat your venomous words..

Still burns my conscious ..

Tears rolled down your cheeks ..

Rose and flushed ..

As you wept  ..

There I stood  ..

Unmoved by your effort ..

Sinful ,dark and cold eyes  ..

I must have had ..

Hearing your acidic verbal assaults ...

Wondering ..

If I was a low life ,

As what you told me  ,

What could I've done  ,

Why couldn't I move on ,

From those poisonous words ,

Truth to be told..

You did felt the pain..

I did became the cause..

Could I have changed it ?

Wandering Soul

Freedom...

Chains constrained me ,

No longer around me ...

Down I look ,

Drowning in the middle ,

Of a crimson red fluid ...

The form of an unknown ...

The scent of a burnt flesh ...

Middle of a war ground ...

The unfamiliar flag-holder ,

Firing away...

I ,unscathed by the soaring bullets,

Lancinating through my body,

There I stood...

As I look around...

This putrid soil..

I stand among few others,

Pale wanderers ,

I turned around,

Facing a rather familiar flag ..

The soaring bullet found its destination ..

Planting itself on him,

The soldier ..

As he falls..

On this putrid soil..

The moonlight shining upon his falling figure..

Is he dead....?

I wondered ... 

As he fell on the ground ,

I look in disbelief ...

As he stood up..

Howling in pain ...

He rose from the ground ..

Leaving his figure deferred ,

On the ground it laid ..

Middle of the familiar crimson red liquid ..

Pool of blood ..

I swift my eyes ,

I look back on my feet ,

The isolated figure ..

My isolated figure ...

As everything had made sense ...

I looked at the others in disbelief ..

To meet their confused stare ,

Stares of a man in need ..

Of answers ... 

Answer I knew ..

Answer I wished to be unreal ..

As I .. 

A wondering soul myself ,

Stood in the middle of this battleground ...

Deferred in time and space ..

Sacrificed for a flag 

A flag I died to rescue ...

Washed Away

All these time,
Conversation we shared ..
Resolution was our purpose,
For the comfort
Between you and I
Washed away
By your cold words
My mistake
Underestimating your ways
Here i stand
For no particular reasons
And wait here in this peaceful silence
For your emotions
Reach out to memy isolated being
Stranded in this darkness
Wisps floating surrounding me
Am i dreaming ?
Stranded,
Standing among these wisps ...
Waiting for comfort ,
Where do we stand ...
Happiness came with the tide ...
Went away with the wind ...

New Pic

Seal It With A Kiss

Pleasant memories,

Those beautiful eyes,

Glimmering gaze,

It looks deep into my soul ..

Reminding me,

The faithful night .

The lone star twilight,

Under the crescent moonlight,

The promise WE made ,

The oath we shared ..

The overwhelming emotions..

Faithful words,

That bind our soul ..

"never leave my side?"

'Yes , my love..'

'I shall never leave your side..'

'For without you , i will cease to exist..'

Her tearful eyes ...

Her promising tender lips ..

"Seal our oath with a kiss? "

She muttered ...

Ever so gently ...

The sight of her blushing soft cheeks ,

Her beauty which defies the law of nature ...

As the seal was intact ..

As we shared our kiss ,

As our honest lips touched ,

As our undying love,

Flowed through our kiss ..

I looked at her glimmering eyes ..

I knew she is the one ...

The one and only ..

My Juliet ..

Suppress

Pretend ..

The hidden feelings,

You share for me,

The warmth of your presence,

Cruel girl...

You casted this curse ,

Upon me...

Mercilessly...

Cold-heart..

And left me to suffer..

The harder i try,

The more you deny...

I love you,

I said...

You hate me,

You reply ..

But still you share a warm and gently kiss,

Melting my soul..

Holding on to me..

And yet...

Denying your true feelings...

Do i deserve this torture ?

All that remains for me,

Are these feelings i suppressed ,

Feelings that are denied ...

dance like only we could ...

My solitude

Broken into..
The walls I built..
To shield away my emotions..
Flowing away from me..
Mistakes..
You'll never realize,
The pain ...
The confusion ...
You caused my soul to wonder,
Without a home to return,
So here I am...
Building a wall...
Again to be senselessly broken,
By your words ,
Without any assurance,
Its never the same,
Compare...
All you can do is compare,
Its hurtful properties ,
Nevertheless ...
Walls i build ,
For my existence to live within ,
My own world ,
My solitude ..

DARREN TRIBUTE

poetic version :
a failure,
its all we'll all be,
in the eyes of the world...
they never will realize ,
we are free from chains of burdens...
choices are made without regression...
while the others suffer...
bind by the chain of conscious,
the more burdens they carry,
the more worthless they become..
the illusion they feed on ...
for their own satisfaction,
a process called self retardation ..


original :
some people think that people like us are failures...
what they don't know...
that we can do anything we want...
and they can't...
a bunch of bastards they become...
because of self praising and selfishness...
a process of self retardation ...

Just me

meaning remains same ...
i still am ..
was and will be ..
the boy who who had it all ,
and missed everything ..
with a blink of an eye ...
and took the wrong path...
to learn about life...
and get back to the right path...
but memories remains...
those words ...
drew everything out of me...
my poetic visions..
my rebellious thoughts...
my peaceful mind..
haiz ...
this isn't a poem ..
this is just who i am ...
and what i feel ...

SCRIPTED

scripted ..

for me to learn?

for me to to understand..

for me to make no more mistake?

present ..

is how it was scripted..

hope is all i have ..

blossomed from you ..

withering ..

caused by you ..

you should have been the one..

for me to believe in ..

break my walls ..

rule my world ...

but scripted ..

its all still there ..

how its going to be ..

a future ...

neither you or me can alter ??

pain is all left in this script ..

Beauty Of The Moonlight

The night sky ,

Devours the sadness...

Crawling inside her thoughts..

What she are ,

What she have become,

What does she desire,

Leave out all the thoughts ,

And let her soul be free..

Have a simple dose of wine,

Under the calm night sky,

Melodic music playing,

Her soul soaring through the darkness..

All that's remain in her thoughts are,

Peace and freedom,

Moonlight shinning brightly,

On her tanned skin,

Walking on the sands,

Of the bay on Guantanamo..

I sat my eyes on this magnificent creature..

As pure as her soul is,

As lonely ad i was,

There she stood ..

Her sight captured my eyes,

As I stood there looking at her glimmering figure..

I thought to myself,

What a beauty of the night..

"A beauty of the moonlight"

When you were gone

Tainted soul,
Denied love,
Oo you feel the pain,
I endured all ,
For the only prized possession,
For a loved heart,
You gave me everything,
You taught me to care,
You taught me to love,
But why,
Why did you build the wall,
The wall that separates me from you,
The wall that seperates my world from your heaven,
All thats left is my memories ,
And what was taken away from me ,
Traces of love,
Particles attached to the walls of my heart,
All that belongs to me is this ..
You went away,
Leaving a tattered soul,
To die on the pavement ..

WHY?

lyrics :
where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet
sinking feeling

spin me round again
and rub my eyes,
this can't be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first

oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines (oh, you won't catch me around here)
blood and tears (hearts)
they were here first

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm that it's just what we need
you decided this
whatcha say?
Mmmm what did she say?

ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no I don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a bit

(hide and seek)
ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs

(hide and seek)
speak no feeling no i don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a (you don't care a) bit

(hide and seek)
oh no, you don't care a bit
oh no, you don't care a bit

(hide and seek)
oh no, you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit

Break your Heart - Official Video [ Taio Cruz Ft. Ludacris ]

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