Dear Diary, do you know what grinds my gear? #2

You know what grinds my gears?

When someone tells me there's an open door policy and I have to take opportunity when presented with one to tell them whatever I need to tell them and then shit all over me when I do.

You know what grinds my gears?

When someone tells me/complains to me about something I have no idea about and I can't tell them they are complaining to the wrong person / choose my words extremely carefully because the person complaining to me is a hypersensitive prick who only knows how to throw tantrum and emotion dump on the person they talk to, refusing to act like an adult and acknowledge their own fault in being in that situation, learn and grow from it and move the fuck on rather than continuously whine bitch and moan about something that has already happened. 

You know what grinds my gears? 

When someone just constantly tries to find excuse to get mad at me, no matter how much I try to avoid an argument and sustain peace.

You know what grinds my gears?

When someone looks at others and judge them but can't fucking see that they too act like a complete moron who doesn't have a lick of self awareness.

You know what grinds my gears?

When someone doesn't take accountability over a situation that they were fully in control of and fucked it up but constantly blames others for it as if they had no part to play in it.

You know what grinds my gears?

When someone don't practice what they preach.

You know what grinds my gears?

When someone doesn't have a lick of gratitude or even acknowledge the weight someone else carries on their shoulder and only thinks about themselves and their own problems as if the whole world is not suffering, only they suffer.

You know what grinds my gears? 

When someone constantly claims others are doing to them something they project but in reality, they are the one who does it the most.

You know what grinds my gears?

My lack of guts to just cancel this whole ordeal while I'm ahead and not suffer for the rest of my life.

You know what grinds my gears?

The fact that I actually take this person seriously when they have not even once proven to me that they are worth being taken seriously.

Dear Diary, do you know what grinds my gears?

 You know what grinds my gears?

when someone self inserts themselves into problems that doesn't involve them and then make make a fuss about it when someone calls them out on it. 

you know what grinds my gears?

when they lack the self awareness (Due to upbringing/doesn't care about how their attitude comes across to others/overall a sociopath) to just stop and re-access the situation for a moment before continuing to run their mouth.

you know what grinds my gears? 

when they just constantly crosses your values in the guise of communication and then gets upset when the other party responds to their shitty take. 

you know what grinds my gears? 

when you don't even realize that you have done something wrong and expect the other party to apologize and kiss your ass just to validate your feelings. 

you know what grinds my gears? 

when someone can provide safe space to everyone but me. 

Untitled letter #3 - Regrets

Hey there...
How have you been ? 
I didn't mean to write to you so often, so I hope it doesn't annoy you too much ...

I'll try to refrain from writing often yea ?

Untitled letter #2 - for the lost souls

Hey there,
I hope you have been doing well...
How has the nights been treating you?
I hope it has not been too harsh..
I hope you catch a break from all the loneliness ..
I hope you catch a break from all the regrets ..

I hope you catch a break from all the sorrow ..

Hey,
Chin up ...
I know it's tough ...
It is suffocating for sure ...

Untitled Letter to whomever reading this

Hey...
It's been so long since I posted anything.
How have you been ? 
Have you been busy ?
I do hope you are taking care of yourself.

Personal wellbeing is important, so please take some time to stop and breathe.

Breathing is important.

I've been on a downwards spiral.

Nothing is ever what it seems.

Therapy doesn't seem to be helping either.

End Of The Journey

Resistance.
Slowly as he regained his conscience,
All he felt was resistance ..
Resistance !
Move! He screamed.
To whom? 

Darkness engulfed his sight,

Shackles of distraught snaring him further down.

Magma-like liquid assaults his lungs,

Voiceless rasp is all he could utter.

No noise to be heard...

Is this the end ?

All he felt was hopelessness..

What brought on this fate upon him?

Who's sin was he forced to bear?

Why was this the ending to his story?

Questions were all he had.

What was he fighting for ? 

Who led to his demise?

Why was he drowning?

Questions were all he had.

What was there left?

Who's was to blame?

Why was there no one to save him?

Questions were all he had.

And as he drew his last breath...

Questions were all he was left with.

And with one final gasp, his candle extinguishes.

The end.

This will be my final poem to this world. 

It had been a wonderfully bitter sweet journey with just my thoughts being poured into either spoken word form or poem. I ... Think I'll end it here. 

Once again, thank you.

Lonely Wanderer

 Lonely wanderer, 

Destination unknown, 

Tightened his embrace upon himself,

His shuddering breath,

Slowly materializes as he exhales,

Yet dispersing in urgency,

As the cold dry air assaults his lungs,