What hurts the most

Did some decision unwillingly cause its better to have a broken heart than breaking someone's heart ...


" why do we cry and unwillingly say goodbye "

Guilt ...
The only conscious ...
Swelling within me ...
Nights after nights ...
Trials after trials .. 
Obstacles after obstacles ...
Where did we stand ?
I was to be blamed ,
Once again ..
Happiness I couldn't give ...
Love I couldn't share ...
Harsh ?
Objective of us was you ,
But blames were taken by me ...
Harsh ?
Words I shared ?
Hurting you never was my intention ,
Clarify was the purpose ...
Harsh ?
The reason was your actions ,
But blame was on me ?
Happiness ,
I couldn't made you feel ...
It was clarified ,
By You ...
For here i stood ...
Waiting for you ...
To notice my real existence ...
Not a mirror image ,
Of fake laughter ...
My true existence ...
Love me for who i truly am ...
Can't you see ?
The sole purpose ,
For you to open your eyes ..
Look through me ...
And love me !
Not the fake laughter ,
You fell in love with ...
What hurt the most ,
You truly believe the fake laughter ,
Is the real me ...
Whats left to do ... 
Is to hurt myself then hurt you ...

" why do you refuse to believe in me ? "

EMO PICS ....

Iron Grip Of Past

DARREN : i tried to b happy with my life...believe me, i did, after goin thru so much sadness n sorrow...but i juz cant seem to, even if i ignore pp'l judgement and reflets of my past, i would eventually fall back into my haunting pasts, bcuz my life have been that way ...

happiness ...

a word of million desires...

an emotion ,

i could not achieve ,

efforts went to waste ...

spirited away ,

attached itself to the wind ...

the remaining pieces ,

of my hardened heart ,

sadness , sorrow , wasted desires ..

chained me ...

an iron grip of the past ...

judgement of the sinful eyes of the world ,

ignorance was wishful thinking ,

the death grip ,

denies my movement ,

couldn't move forward ...

trapped in my own past ...

trapped ..

The way of life ,

which i did not choose...

which was casted upon me ...

Conscious Guilt

The fear within me ,

Consumes my conscious ...

What could have been done ...

Which I failed to do so ,

Blamed by you ...

Fingers pointed at me ,

Without any realization ,

Without warning ,

Words shot upon me ...

Cold ,

Stone cold ...

As you spat your venomous words..

Still burns my conscious ..

Tears rolled down your cheeks ..

Rose and flushed ..

As you wept  ..

There I stood  ..

Unmoved by your effort ..

Sinful ,dark and cold eyes  ..

I must have had ..

Hearing your acidic verbal assaults ...

Wondering ..

If I was a low life ,

As what you told me  ,

What could I've done  ,

Why couldn't I move on ,

From those poisonous words ,

Truth to be told..

You did felt the pain..

I did became the cause..

Could I have changed it ?

Wandering Soul

Freedom...

Chains constrained me ,

No longer around me ...

Down I look ,

Drowning in the middle ,

Of a crimson red fluid ...

The form of an unknown ...

The scent of a burnt flesh ...

Middle of a war ground ...

The unfamiliar flag-holder ,

Firing away...

I ,unscathed by the soaring bullets,

Lancinating through my body,

There I stood...

As I look around...

This putrid soil..

I stand among few others,

Pale wanderers ,

I turned around,

Facing a rather familiar flag ..

The soaring bullet found its destination ..

Planting itself on him,

The soldier ..

As he falls..

On this putrid soil..

The moonlight shining upon his falling figure..

Is he dead....?

I wondered ... 

As he fell on the ground ,

I look in disbelief ...

As he stood up..

Howling in pain ...

He rose from the ground ..

Leaving his figure deferred ,

On the ground it laid ..

Middle of the familiar crimson red liquid ..

Pool of blood ..

I swift my eyes ,

I look back on my feet ,

The isolated figure ..

My isolated figure ...

As everything had made sense ...

I looked at the others in disbelief ..

To meet their confused stare ,

Stares of a man in need ..

Of answers ... 

Answer I knew ..

Answer I wished to be unreal ..

As I .. 

A wondering soul myself ,

Stood in the middle of this battleground ...

Deferred in time and space ..

Sacrificed for a flag 

A flag I died to rescue ...

Washed Away

All these time,
Conversation we shared ..
Resolution was our purpose,
For the comfort
Between you and I
Washed away
By your cold words
My mistake
Underestimating your ways
Here i stand
For no particular reasons
And wait here in this peaceful silence
For your emotions
Reach out to memy isolated being
Stranded in this darkness
Wisps floating surrounding me
Am i dreaming ?
Stranded,
Standing among these wisps ...
Waiting for comfort ,
Where do we stand ...
Happiness came with the tide ...
Went away with the wind ...